Listening to Learn
So many Cybersecurity professionals get caught in a trap when asked a question. The trap is that we immediately begin thinking about an answer, instead of being curious about what we could learn from the person we are talking with. To make matters worse, we often give the answer NO to the question. We have already talked about this in another blog post.
What if Cybersecurity professionals begin Listening to Learn, rather than focusing so much on Listening to Answer, or Listening to Refute?
I believe the answer to that question is revolutionary to most Cybersecurity careers!
I know when I began Listening to Learn, I discovered many places where my team could add value, where we could be seen as contributing to the innovation process and where we were invited to the table early in the conversations, rather than as an afterthought. No one wants bolted-on cybersecurity solutions, but because so many Cybersecurity professionals do not Listen to Learn, there is never an invitation to the table.
What does Listening to Learn look like?
It means being curious a little longer. Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap, encourages us to be curious a little longer, don’t jump to giving advice so quickly. This is a great model for Cybersecurity professionals! Ask a few more questions with a true intent to learn what the business is looking to do BEFORE giving your advice or making your decision. Business leaders will enjoy the opportunity to engage in conversation around what they want to do. Additionally, it is likely that a solution can be crafted that accounts for the risk of the project.
It is amazing to learn how many times others have thought about something that is directly in line with what you would tell them. It is so much more powerful when it is THEIR idea, rather than you telling them!
Another author, David Marquet, author of Turn The Ship Around and Leadership is Language has some great advice for how to become a better Listening Learner. Stop asking questions for which you already know the answer and stop asking leading questions to convince the person how wrong they are and how right/smart you are!
In Leadership is Language, Marquet identifies the Seven Sins of Question Asking.
- Question Stacking
- Leading Questions
- “Why” Questions
- Dirty Questions
- Binary Questions
- Self-affirming Questions
- Aggressive Questioning
It was VERY convicting for me when I read about these as I have committed more than one of these (I believe all of them) nearly every day during my career.
Like most leadership skills, I haven’t mastered them, but being aware of the issue is a significant step in the right direction to growth and getting better.
BTW, Marquet commanded the nuclear-powered, fast-attack submarine USS Santa Fe from 1999 to 2001, transforming it from the worst-performing submarine in the fleet to the best. He also has the most former subordinates now commanding their own nuclear-powered submarine of anyone in Navy history. I think he knows a thing or two about leadership and we can learn much from studying him!
So, if, like me, you have wanted to get better at asking questions that lead to Listening to Learn, give a read to either The Advice Trap or Leadership is Language. You can also connect with me and we can talk about how intentional coaching in this area might be a good solution to help you strengthen your Cybersecurity Leadership Journey.
#Cybersecurity #Leadership #CISO #Security #Mentoring